As a teenager, the alcohol scene was never Prudence’s cup of tea. She would rather chill out under the stars and listen to The Beatles. The crazy drinking games that led to an upset stomach that eventually led to pucking her guts out, just wasn’t her scene. In fact she was much more the hippie type. The late night nature hikes, eating junk food and playing Pink Floyd on vinyl was what she loved best.
In life, God gives you many chances to make things right. When he’s had enough of the silly games that you’ve played with yourself, BAM, he sends you the sign that “enough is enough.” For Prudence the sign came quick and unexpected of course, because that’s how it usually works, unexpected. A quick flight in the sky to the “City of Sin” was where her party ended…the band would stop playing the music.
The alarm rings loudly as Prudence sluggishly rolls out of bed. Today was the day she would fly to Vegas to speck her new home. Prudence and her husband had purchased a new home in Las Vegas, a wedding gift to themselves. A new chapter, an adventurous journey they would embark on together. Prudence patiently waits at the airport bar as she enjoys two glasses of her favorite Chardonnay. The flight was packed and Prudence sits in between two youngsters eager to party for their 21st birthdays. She kinda felt old, yet young as she drank with the young men the entire flight. The party was just getting started but for Prudence however, the party was coming to an end. Laughing and barley able to walk off the plane, she’s says goodbye to the boys. Prudence makes a mad dash to the bathroom.
Her father and mother had planned to meet her at baggage claim, the normal routine they’ve always had. Unfortunately for Prudence the bathroom trip had taken a lot longer than anyone could ever imagine. You see, she had passed out in the bathroom stall. Yup, blacked out sitting on the toilet. Talk about embarrassing. Talk about a ring around your ass! This was about to be Prudence’s bottom, no pun intended! It was minutes that led into more minutes that eventually led into over an hour. Her father was panicked, frantic and out of his mind. All he could think about was that his baby girl was gone, kidnapped and never to be seen again. He was told that she had boarded the plane, her ticket was taken and bags checked. Her mother and father waited and waited and waited. Hoping that their daughter would magically appear.
Prudence starts to feel herself slumping over almost falling off the toilet, when she finally wakes up. What seems like only seconds to her was a lifetime for her parents waiting downstairs. Grabbing her bag, she slowly walks down the empty halls of the terminal and proceeds to the escalator pointing to baggage claim. It’s the look on her parent’s face that she will never ever forget. A look no daughter ever wants to see, the look of terror. Because Prudence is still feeling pretty good, she starts to laugh and giggle as she tries to give her parents a welcome hug. She could tell that her father had been crying but she couldn’t understand why.
As they got into the car and headed for home is when the “talk” of her lifetime began. Never once did either of them yell. It was the soft whisper like tone that really hit home. “It’s over Prudence. You’ve got to stop now before it’s too late.” Her father had said. It was at that very moment Prudence knew what he had meant. Her heart was broken. His heart was broken. The tears began to run down her cheeks as she sadly watched her father wipe his tears away.
As her mother and father tuck her into bed, her mother whispers “Goodnight and we will talk in the morning.” That next morning Prudence sat at the kitchen table sipping on a warm cup of coffee. Her father had already gone to work and she felt a huge sense of relief. Her mother joins her at the table with a pen and paper. And so the “talk” begins, the awful sense of the real world sets in. Many hours had gone by as the two of them discuss Prudence’s drinking problem. The Why’s? The How’s? The I Cant’s! The excuses that seem to not stop pouring out of her mouth. The sun begins to set and it dawns on Prudence that she is ready for her nightly cocktail. “Oh Shit!” she thought. The cocktail hour was not in her playing cards tonight. The withdrawal of alcohol starts to hit her. The shaking of the hands, the thought of not having a drink completely takes over her mind. Prudence feels as if she is going to lose her mind, in fact, she was losing her mind.
Thankfully Prudence’s mother was a nurse and had control over the process of withdrawing from alcohol. Her mother and father had kept a close eye on her for the next few days and nights. It was as if Prudence was living in a nightmare, her own nightmare that she had created. Prudence knew in her heart that this was her last chance. It was as if she knew that next time well…there might not be a next time. Prudence’s biggest fear about becoming sober was that she’d no longer be that fun crazy girl that everyone knew her to be. She imagined the rest of her life to be absolutely dull. Her groove would be forever lost, that funky beat gone forever.
As the week went by, Prudence knew that she had to return home. Prudence was nervous, frightened, and scared out of her mind. The ride to the airport was a quite one. In the matter of moments she would be alone with no one to watch her. The airport bar was honestly the only thing she could think about. “Just one more drink” she thought to herself. One more drink to calm the shakes, to end the party right?
As her parents drop her off in front of the airport terminal, her father and mother give her big hugs and kisses. As she begins to walk away she runs back to them for one last hug. With tears in his eyes her father whispers, “Prudence, make me proud. You can do this. Be the winner of the big race.” When Prudence was about five years old, she’d raced big wheels against all boys. Yes indeed, she was the only girl. Her father had given her this very speech right before she had won the “Big Race.” How could she let him down, she couldn’t, she wouldn’t.
The Big Race!
As Prudence walked through the airport doors she looked back at her father, with tears in her eyes, and whispered, “I promise papa, I won’t let you down.” Prudence walked past the airport bar slowly, watching all the people laugh and drink. She could feel the temptation, the struggle was real. As she patiently waited at the airport terminal, she could feel her body shake. The anxiety of returning home was beginning to hit her hard. As the plane soared through the sky the flight attendant began to take drink orders. “Miss, what would you like to drink?” The first test sent from above. Her mother had warned her that she would be tested from anyone, anywhere at any time. “So soon and why are mothers always right?” Prudence had thought. “Yes, I would love a Sprite” she replied with tears in her eyes. The flight attendant gave Prudence a warm smile as if she’d sensed the very struggle she was going through.
When she took her first step off the plane and the ride in the sky was over, Prudence needed to find the first AA meeting and fast. She knew that the everyday habit of drinking at home was going to hit her and hit her hard. As she walked through the front door she went straight to the fridge. “One last glass before my first meeting” she said a loud. The bottles were gone, her husband had already cleaned out the house. No wine to be found even in her best hiding places. “Shit, Damn it!” Prudence shouted. She runs to the computer quickly looking up the nearest AA meeting. The closest AA meeting is within a mile and Prudence grabs her coat and darts out the door.
“Welcome, welcome to our meeting” was the first thing that was said to her as she walked through the door. Prudence was greeted with warm and friendly smiles. A sense of relief hits her. That night would be the first time Prudence shares her story, her bottom that she had just experienced. Prudence makes a promise to herself to attend one or two meetings a day. Hearing others’ stories and sharing her own was how she got through the toughest of days.
Prudence never had the luxury of a rehab center or fancy drugs to help her detox. All of the symptoms that an alcoholic feels she felt cold turkey. The first few months of sobriety for Prudence were extremely hard, shitty in fact. The withdrawals and physical side effects were something Prudence never ever wanted to experience again in her lifetime.
When Prudence announced to her home group that she would be moving to Las Vegas, the entire room gasped. “Are you kidding me? How in the world will you ever survive in Las Vegas?” asked one of the women. “I have faith in myself and have to trust ME!” she replied. With the help of her support group and faith in her higher power, Prudence knew in her heart it was the right decision. Vegas, the city of sin, the town of the 24 hour party, would be the challenge of a lifetime. Prudence was on her way! She couldn’t help but feel nervous but knew that it would be the ultimate challenge for any alcoholic. If she could stay sober there she could stay sober anywhere.
The promise Prudence made to her family and friends but more importantly to herself, was to never turn back to the bottle again. For an alcoholic, every day is a constant struggle. Prudence lives by the golden rule of AA…On Day At A Time. Finding the will of God, the higher power that one looks too, is what absolutely saved her life.
The Serenity Prayer
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Sobriety Dream Team!
Because In The End…She Won’t Let Herself Down!
Yours Truly with Love and Peace in my Heart,
G-
A very special thank you to Holly Ann – Editor-in-chief
Gina Misty and Isabella Gwen 